Alright, so there is no point denying it or keeping it from those of you who love me and care deeply about my life, health, and general well-being: the “disease” has finally hit me.. Yup, it has caught up with me.. Who would have thought?
At first I wasn’t sure at all as to whether it actually was the dreaded disease.. I thought I was just going through symptoms of perhaps PMS.. IBS… PTSD? Don’t know, I just really didn’t think IT would hit me (and no, I’m not talking about butterflies in my tummy; neither am I talking about Information Technology). It’s something very different.. You know how it is: You hear of husbands cheating on their wives but (want to) believe your husband is faithful to you and your marital vows. You’ve noticed your husband come home earlier than usual, be extra sweet when spending time with you, buy you gifts, take you places he always insisted you simply couldn’t afford.. He’s been different and you are suspicious, but really don’t want to face reality, so you just tell yourself he’s fallen in love with you all over again *coughs*.. And then, on one of those Hollywood-like rainy days, you find out through a friend who has (because she loves you and cares deeply… having marital difficulties at the time herself) decided to run a check on your husband- perhaps pay a private investigator- and see what he’s really been up to lately.. and the truth surfaces: your husband has had an affair (with his hot young secretary etc etc.. we’ve all seen the movies) and you start asking yourself, “How could I not have known? How could he do this to me? What does she have that I don’t? Have I been neglecting him.. emotionally, sexually? etc. etc. until you finally admit that you kind-of knew all along but didn’t want to face reality…
So, here is my reality: I miss home! [(which includes everything and everyone from Vienna to London, minus the things- places, areas, people and customs- inbetween, but plus Copenhagen (lol) which is not (geographically located) inbetween anyway..and of course my online friends reading this (ie. OVD and/or ex-facebook comrades)]. Anyway, going back: I really really miss home!! especially my family (!!!) and friends (!!) (Note: Please pay special attention to the amount of exclamation marks following both!)
You know, the first couple of days in a new city are always ueber-cool; they are exciting and intriguing. You look forward to going to new places, meeting new people, eating different kinds of food. It is exciting, because it is a jump into ice-cold water. But then, having plunged around for a while, you feel like getting out, maybe run away; you feel like putting your feet on dry ground again, familiar ground.. returning to ancient surroundings that make you feel warm, accepted; places you know you belong. I am kind of stepping out of the ice-cold-gone-lukewarm-gone-smelly (lol, sorry, this is me being emotional) water now. I’ve been feeling a bit down, drowsy, stretched, and emotional for quite a few hours (meaning: Well over 24; and yes, it includes sleeping time! Let’s please not be over-analytical/mathematical here) and I am coming to terms with the fact that this must be what medical professionals call feeling homesick. As the old saying goes, “Old wine is better than new one” (in most cases anyway. Again, let’s not be too philosophical; this should not be sufficient to spark a hot new debate).
In a way it’s not the worst disease to have, you know.. but just like all the others, it’s a bit uncomfortable. More so when it causes uncontrollable emotional eruptions like that of sudden crying while seated on the metro and having people- who already stare at you for being “different”- acting all the more surprised at the fact that you- just like them- are a human being with real emotions and does at times- brace yourself- cry! *pulling out my hair (natural now that I have taken out the kinky-twists and can’t actually get my hair done, due to the lack of African “amenities”)*grrrrrr*
But oh well.. to those of you who love me and miss my presence: I think I might just be missing you a tad more! xXx