Being the woman that I am, I naturally had to- as I sadly do on a weekly basis- research the net on “Dating Tips/Advice for Christian Singles”. I’ve actually decided to share bits and pieces of what I’ve learnt (it is a lot!) during my “Forever Friends” class, headed by Pastor Michael Omawumi Efueye (Resident Pastor of House on The Rock, The London Lighthouse) over the next couple of weeks. The book analyzed and taught during that class is Selwyn Hughes’ Marriage as God Intended, a must-read! Anyway, once started, I’m aiming to make at least one corresponding entry per week (no promises).. it’s an aim that might, or might not, be achieved.*shrug*
There are differing views- especially among Christians- as to what’s ok and what’s not during dating and/or courting. Sex is an obvious no-no, the Bible is very clear on that. What about cuddling? Kissing? Sleeping in the same bed? What’s ok, and what is not? Is there a clear line, or is it blurry? Do we draw our own limitations, is it a personal decision? What’s your opinion? Do you agree with the following points? I’ve obviously read through them, and know quite a few of my close friends who’d laugh off half of them. What do you feel is absolutely paramount (quintessential), somewhat important, or rather insignificant when dating? When do you discuss serious issues such as past relationships, information that could eventually lead to a “deal-breaker”, or do you discuss such things at all? How do you feel about restrictions and limitations set by Scripture (which should be uncompromisable), your pastor (spiritual counsel), family members and the likes? Do you feel any of the previously mentioned might be the reasons for your current marital status? (No pun intended.)
***Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect mine.***
You control how a man treats you! Before you make the decision to begin embracing your new life style, I’m going to list a few do’s and don’ts– for your dating pleasure.
- 1) If someone you have a strong attraction for, or vice versa, invites you to an evening event, make it a group thing.
- 2) Allow him to pursue you. Remember a real man will.
- 3) Always keep your first seven dates filled with educational and cultural things. It helps to stimulate the intellect and not the sex drive.
- 4) On the first date dress conservatively, the attention must not be drawn to any part of your physical body. When you dress naked, you leave nothing to the imagination and you cause him never to tap into the real person that you are!
- 5) Always insist on him meeting your family and friends….
- 6) If you are very serious about your interest in a person, before there is any talk of marriage always insist that he meet your pastor–shepherds can see farther than the sheep can….
- 7) If it’s just a friendship, on the first two or three dates the bill should be shared. If he is pursuing you, then he should pay the bill.
- 1) Never start talking about marriage on the first seven dates.
- 2) Never sit at home idle, waiting for him to call you.
- 3) If he comes to take you out and it’s past 9:30, don’t go because you know what he came for…and it’s not for your knowledge of the Word. That’s a call, girlfriend, and you know what kind of call it is. Also: Do not allow a potential mate to call your house after 12 midnight. Especially while lying in bed. Reclining brings on a different aura. Sit up and stay focused.
- 4) Never allow a man to blow his horn for you. Let him come to your door, ask for you properly, and escort you to the car. Anything could happen to you while coming out of the house. You need to feel like he’s your protection.
- 5) Never discuss your financial status with a man early on in your relationship. And never, never, never, ever accept money from a man or ask him to assist you in your financial affairs. Remember he is not Jehovah-Jireh, your provider.
- 6) And last but not least…when you make a decision to have sex with any man that does not possess godly qualities, you WILL contract something that is deadlier than a disease. Remember, the Bible teaches that when a relationship is consummated, the two shall become one. Therefore, you must be careful as to what spirit is about to step inside of you.