On Friendships and Acquaintances…

First of all, a BIG THANK YOU to all my friends and acquaintances who acknowledged the day of my birth and dropped me a line on my blog, texted me, or even called *sob sob*; the love was much and very appreciated!! *blows kisses*

To get to today’s post: Over the past few mins, hours, days- actually, to be completely honest, this topic has been on my mind for many years- I have been thinking on “Friendships and Acquaintances”. Whoever knows me (well) knows of my need for clear definitions, as it is crucial for two individuals engaged in a communication- of whatever kind- to be in the know and on the same page on matters of the heart and co. There is nothing- at least in my opinion– as sad as two people discussing two completely different issues. Communication –stone memust make sense; no ifs no buts. While many communication/relationship experts blame the falling out of couples on a lack of communication, I dare say, it is not so much the lack of communication, as it is miscommunication! So what is right and what is wrong communication? Read some books! This is not topic of today’s post.. it is “Friendship and Acquaintances”.

(See how annoying this was? Me getting you all into the right and wrong of communication, just to let you know we are talking about something else? *vomit*) 

Anyway, so today, I want to discuss Friendships and Acquaintances. Actually, I do not so much want to discuss them, as I want to share my view-point on these. I might have one, I might have none at all; but I’ll give you some insight into how I feel about these. I guess we all- to a varying degree- have experienced human relationships on both personal and objective levels- yes, believe it or not, relationships can be experienced objectively- and consequently have a thing or two to say about them.

I am not attempting to define “friends” and “acquaintances” here (we’ve all done that or seen people do that), neither am I drawing a line between the two (as I believe such lines to be blurry and almost always completely unnecessary). I am not throwing the following statements at you in the hopes of shaping you, making you a better person, helping you separate the goats from the sheep, or even improving your friendship skills. No, I am merely sharing statements/feelings/opinions common to man. Do with them what you may, but at the very least: please do something! If it is think, think well. If it is change, change completely. If it is improve, do so with commitment to perfection. Yes, I believe perfection (in many aspects) to be attainable; but let “perfection” be defined! As you do so, remember to reflect His light.

I have a friend who loves me. He loves me so much, he makes sacrifices for me. Sacrifices so big, he often ends up hurt. Sometimes so badly, his life is in danger. I am not sure I want to be his friend, I am not sure I can. I am not sure I should. ~A

I have a friend. Actually, I have many. They make me laugh, they laugh at me. They make me cry, they cry with me. With them I feel secure. With them I feel Me. ~B

I don’t talk much, but when I need someone to talk to, I know where to go. I am surrounded by people of wisdom. People whose words I respect and heed. I might not have a lot, but I sure have goodly counsel. ~C

Of course I trust her; she’s my best friend. There are just certain things I would never tell her. You know, when you know someone really well, you know you cannot entrust them with certain secrets. At least not, if you want to make sure they remain as such. ~ D

I know a girl. She is my friend although she makes me sick. She makes me cringe. She makes me weep. But she loves me and I love her. I don’t know why. When I spend time with her, I wish I could just get away; but when I do, I long for her. I know it’s weird, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. ~E

There is a friendship I wish I could end. I would have ended it long time ago- but we have been friends for too ng. Whenever I think of ending it, I think of all we’ve been through, and it becomes difficult. He’s been there for me so many times, it wouldn’t be fair pulling out now. ~ F

I have a friend; I like her. I like her but I’d never travel with her. At least not again. She is too demanding. She needs too much attention. It is too much work. She’s alright in small doses; in larger ones she’s toxic. ~ G

Note how they are all “friends“? In one way or the other we’ve all been and had these people: I myself have at earlier times treated some friends as acquaintances, and some acquaintances as friends (by my own definitions, assuming these exists). I have trusted those who have not earned my trust- those of whom I never asked it, or of whom it was never required- denied it those who have proven trustworthy with certain and untrustworthy with other things, or even broken that entrusted to me.

What I have however not done, was play judge or play God. I have allowed him in, and her play. Him do this, and her do that. I have played the role of a friend and confidant, the role of a sister and mentor; sometimes even that of an ingrate and abuser, misuser and maltreater, but one role I’ve always failed to play was that of a “selector“.

I have failed to choose my friends and/or acquaintances wisely, to allow and disallow some people access to me. I have failed to draw clear lines, say “thus far and no further”, and stick to those lines. Today, my dear friends and acquaintances, I publicly draw this line and invite you to stick to them. Yet, even if you choose not to, I will!

For today I have chosen to be a friend to myself!

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Timopopo!! says:

    So, what you are saying in a nutshell (because I am not so sure all your readers will get your point) is that:

    1.) There are no real or clear lines between acquaintances or friends because one often treats one as the other. Defining lines would thus be futile as one would inevitably eventually place one in another’s box- according to needs or desires.

    2.) All men (generally: human beings) go against their better judgement. Treating others in ways they know they do not deserve to be treated (whether better or worse); while at other times playing those very same dreaded roles yourself.

    Lol. You have a good point there!
    But 3.) really sums it up, and I completely agree:

    Whether friend or foe, or acquaintance or whatever: Remember to be a friend to yourself! At the end of the day, that really is the only thing that matters, as you alone have to live with yourself. These days, not even marriages last forever (duh).

    Love,
    Tim

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      Very analytical you are, Timopopo lol.. you got some points. There are more hidden ones though.. go fishing! 😉

      1. Timopopo says:

        I have “gone fishing” and concluded the following

        -“broken people’s trust” translates to: you have cheated on your bff with her bf and are not publicly apologizing for it

        – “be a friend to myself” translates to: I now love myself so much, I regularly get jiggy with myself

        – “role of a selector” translates to: however, since I now know what I really enjoy, I am going all out for it and there is no stopping me!!!!

        .. are there any more hidden messages? Please do point them out to me, so that I can “read between them”

        😉

        I love your use of phrases. You know what they do to me, naughty girl.
        Btw: Hope your mom is not reading this.. or any other person that would get all the sexual innuendo.. lol

        1. DeMorrieaux says:

          Oh, so you think my mom would get them?
          Ehmmmmm… *coughing and actually somewhat worried* I trow not!!!

          And whoever did not get them at first, they sure do get them now!

          Lol Timopopo, just go and sleep and don’t corrupt my innocent blog.

          x

        2. Tyo says:

          Très intéressant!

          .. mais j’ai fermé mes yeux

  2. Tyo says:

    Yes, but I guess:

    She is also saying that she is fed up with people crossing certain lines that are obvious to her but they cannot see. (hug)

    Someone has upset you and now you are making a point.. on your blog. I get you, but let that person know too!

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      *sniff*

      if ever there was a match made in heaven apart from Adam and Eve (lol no pun intended) it must be tOi and mOi *sniff*

      You know me well.. But *coughing*: I have (!!!) made my point. Just stepping back from the very personal to the more general; allowing others to somewhat relate to it too 😉

      x

      1. Tyo says:

        D’acc..

  3. redline says:

    Hey Vicky! Happy belated bday… I remembered a few days before but last week ended up being so busy that it totally skipped my mind. Hope u had a good one.

    Take care

    P.S Is this post meant to group people into different levels? Am a bit slow at interpreting this one but I think there should be a ‘H’. Cos I cant find myself up there and I know I would be on a much lower grade. lol

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      Tunji… “H” for hater or husband?? Cos I know you can be dodgy like that- lower level indeed!! lol mchewww…

      It’s alright sha.. you are forgiven (for forgetting my bday!! *dropkicks*) I “only” turned 25 *sniff.whine.cry.walking-stick*

      And nope, this post does not categorize anybody anywhere into anything lol it’s simply a reminder to be and remain true to oneself..at all times.. and in all places 😉

  4. Anonymous says:

    viiiiic…how do you put slideshows together on wordpress?
    Have been trying and to no avail.
    HELP!!!

    shOx

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      Hey shO,

      just go to “Gallery” (in you post; where you upload pics) and scroll all the way down; it’ll give you the option to “insert slideshow”. Click on that.

      The following will appear in your post’s editor: [insert slideshow]
      Once you’ve saved/updated your post all pictures in that post’s gallery will be in the slideshow. You can naturally still edit/delete pics as you wish..

      x

  5. This post reeks of betrayed trust 😦
    Forgive him/her for he/she knows not what he/she is doing…

    To each his own…every man for himself, God for us all….bet wat am I saying again? Errrrr…dunno jor.

    Thanks for changing the layout to pink or is it purple? 🙂

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      Chairman, you are most welcome 🙂

      Betrayed trust? Nah.. not really; just a bit irritated by people – call them “friends or acquaintances”- expecting the unrealistic..

feel free to say something..

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