You know how it is: you meet someone new, and you’re not sure of what to think of him (alternatively for male readers, her) but decide to give the other a chance anyway. You spend some time together, have shallow conversations, reluctantly decide to open up a bit more, find out you actually have quite a bit in common, and eventually discover a liking for each other.
Human encounters usually start with either uncertainty or indifference and- well, admittedly more not than often- result in something deeper, pleasurable, meaningful, satisfactory. Then- before you know it- you realize you’ve probably spent too much time wondering about your feelings, analyzing them, dissecting them, than just allowing them be; letting them flow.. through your body and your soul (lol, pardon the poetic streak). But anyway, bottom-line is: You all too often spend way much time thinking, than actually doing.
And this has happened to me….again! Je ne regret de rien, but …
After a 17-hr journey over China, half of Asia, Russia and Europe, I’m finally back in London and have mixed feelings about it. To be perfectly honest, I knew this was going to happen. It kind of always does.. *sighs* While I was looking forward to seeing everyone again, I cried over having to leave a city I have completely fallen in love with; as Shanghai has become more than just a temporary residence for me. It has become more than just another place I have set foot on; yes, indeed more than just yet another location.. it has become a sort of hOme. I write home with reservation because- having lived and loved (- insert cough-) in many places, I have realized that the more places I travel to and/or reside in, the more places I get attached to, the more places I love, friends I make, and emotions I experience. The more places I visit, the more love I feel for them, and as a result thereof- having to eventually leave- the more pieces of my heart are spread and scattered all over the place.
..A heart broken into pieces.
In a way, I guess, it’s not half as bad as having your heart broken by a fellow human being. You might love (wo)man without being loved back by the same. Such absurdities don’t happen with places: cities always love back! It is practically impossible for them no to- they solemnly exist for the edification and pleasure, existence and comfort, security and purpose of man. A city always loves man, as it could not be without at least one. Its love is stable, unfailing, eternal. This might sound all too romantic; but what do you do when you’re in love with more than just one?
Do you go and gather the pieces or do you just move on.. get over it.. and hope to fall in love again.. perhaps with some one/place else?