Selwyn Hughes founded the Crusade for World Revival (CWR), a fundamentalist evangelical organisation, and wrote more than 50 books expounding the Bible and how to live a Christian life. He was described by the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey, as a “giant in the faith”. Hughes was particularly known for his devotional Every Day with Jesus. (The Telegraph)
His book Marriage as God Intended has been an absolutely amazing read. It discusses numerous topics that are fundamental for a healthy Christian marriage, and have been a tremendous blessing to many- me included.
You want to be a lawyer? You go to law-school. Or perhaps a medical doctor? Go to medical-school. Marriage and ministry are the only two professions people can enter into without adequate training. Hence the reason why they fail!
Five Major Reasons Why Marriages Fail
- Society’s increasing acceptance of temporary marriages. You know there is an easy way out, so you don’t even bother trying to make it work.
- Inadequate preparation for marriage (be it formal or informal).
- Sexual involvement prior to marriage, which consequently undermines the foundation of marriage- it carries psychological implications as well (loss/violation of trust)
- Changing roles: from fixed and clearly defines roles to fluid and blurred roles. Who is responsible for what? “Everyone’s business is no one’s business.” There cannot be a leader-less existence; there simply must be one who leads. There are five kinds of authorities men exert: greater knowledge (eg. teacher); superior ability (eg. professional); cohesive reward power (eg. parents, boss); reverence power (eg. idol); and positional power (eg. police). Positional power has been given to the “man”. A fact highly debated even within Christian cycles today.
- Romantic love is not enough! The ignorant assumption romantic love is so unrealistic, marriage becomes a disappointment. Unrealistic expectations placed on the spouse often result in the distortion of the other’s personality: it idolizes romance to such an extent that ordinary married life becomes boring and dis-satisfactory. It is so short-sighted that real situations (i.e. values, morals, religion) are not taken into account; and real-life situations (such as work, paying bills, cleaning the house, etc.) are eventually considered strenuous.