I Want Out!

It’s about 2.35am right now and I’m still awake. Awake because I got home late and spent the last hour and a half gisting with friends, sisters and a lovely cousin.. It made me think.

I just found out about something.. someone.. and don’t know whether to address the issue or just let it slide. Talk about it.. talk it through; or just let it/them be.

It’s a weird place to be in.. especially when everything and yet little is at stake.

As time goes by, you learn, you grow, develop. But what happens when others don’t?

What happens to them; what happens to YOU?

What happens to your relationship. Does it change. Should it change?

Do you end it; or do you let nature run its course?

I’ve faced such situations more often than once, and I’m tired of them. Tired because I know I deserve better. Tired because I know it could be different.. it should be different.

I’m fed up with continuously trying; trying hard for someone- and yet nothing.

Maybe it’s time to change. Time to give up? Move on. Count my losses, pick up my bag, go.

Or maybe- just maybe- it’s time for one last chance. One last try. The last straw that breaks the camel’s back?

 

Perhaps.. perhaps not.

But what I know for certain, is that I am tired of thinking. Thinking more about you.. your situation; not having enough time to think about me. My life, my future.

All because you are always there.. constantly prowling and searching.. skimming and looking.. asking and seeking.. wanting and demanding.

I am tired of you,

INDECISIVENESS!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Tyo says:

    Here we go again.. *strokes the pretty dog- a chihuahua, perhaps*

    ..You’ve always been though!
    I’ve accepted it as one thing that comes with you.
    Not so much in matters of principle, but very much so in matters of choice:
    – what colour should my blog be?
    – milk or white chocolate?
    – raspberry or strawberry ice creme? (i know you dislike both! before you stone me)

    ..Maybe you should just accept this is your “thorn in the flesh”

  2. DeMorrieaux says:

    First of all- your posts confuse me (at times).
    Do you sometimes post as anonymous?? *dropkicks*

    Anyway, yes- it certainly is a “thorn”
    More than a thorn even.. it is torture and torment.
    Remember the day I spent 2 hrs at Spar trying to select a chocolate, and ended up leaving with none?? I get headaches just remembering!
    But of course you remember- you had to point it out.. pffft!

    Anyway, I think I have improved.. a tiny bit.
    Certain things take no time what-so-ever deciding, while others take half a lifetime. *sighs*

    Accept this I cannot.. I will not.. 😦

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