One would have thought I’d jump at it;
at the question,
But I didn’t,
I was shocked,
I really did not see it coming.
I had hoped for it, yes.
Had longed for it,
prayed for it,
But now that he asked,
I didn’t know.
I wasn’t too sure anymore.
He stood surprised;
had not anticipated this reaction.
He too thought I’d jump at it.
Was it not what I had always wanted,
what I had looked forward to all the years?
My dedication and commitment finally acknowledged?
Our relationship paying off?
We were both surprised.
I did not seem too struck by his offer,
My indecisiveness once again getting in the way.
Or maybe it was just me having finally decided.
And so I said “No.”
My No was a firm one;
coming out stronger than I had intended.
It was good that way.
No room for consideration.
I said No to a new title,
I said No to the job that would take me away.
Away to the city I had always wanted to live in.
I boldly said No to it all.
I said No because there was something I needed more.
Something else I wanted to be asked and say Yes to.
.. that something was YOU.