Still on the same book as yesterday, I am sharing an excerpt from the chapter “Sex: God, Gross, or Gift?“.
The Bible teaches that while sex can be received as a god (idolatry) and rejected as gross, it can also be redeemed as a gift. Because sex is a gift that God gave, it is His intent that we steward and enjoy that gift, like every gift He gives, in such a way that is glorious to Him and good for our marriages.
Sex is a powerful gift that God gives to married couples. Furthermore, it provides six good glorious benefits.
(1) Sex is for pleasure.
Throughout the most erotic book in the Bible, the Song of Songs, children are never mentioned, as the entire focus of the book is simply marital passion and pleasure. Pleasures in the Song of Songs include kissing (1:2), oral/fellatio- her initiative (2:3), manual stimulation- her invitation (2:6), erotic massage- his initiative (4:5), oral/cunnilingus- his initiative (4:12- 5:1), striptease (6:13- 7:9), and new places and positions, including outdoors- her initiative (7:11- 13).
(2) Sex is for creating children.
Birth control use is not always a sin if abortive methods are not used, and the heart’s motives are not sinful. But children are repeatedly considered a blessing throughout Scripture. God created a husband and wife to conceive at the moment of deepest connection.
(3) Sex is for oneness.
“Sexual pleasure is one of the most intense human experiences. Physically speaking, when a man or woman reaches sexual excitement, nerve endings release a chemical into the brain called ‘opioid’. Opioid means ‘opium-like’ and is a good description of the power of this chemical. Apart from a heroin-induced experience, nothing is more physically pleasurable than sex. This is a wonderful thing in a committed marriage relationship, because it helps to bond two people together and bring joy to living together and building a relationship.” (Dr. Stephen Arterburn)
A faithfully married couple with a free and frequent sex life are literally bonded together as one, physically and chemically by God’s design.
(4) Sex is for knowledge.
In the act of sex, and the related intimacy that surrounds it, a couple learns to know each other in a way that they are not known to anyone else. This sacred and experiental knowledge means that a faithfully married couple has an intimacy and connection that is not only exclusive but also unprecedented in all their other relationships.
(5) Sex is for protection.
While there is no excuse for sexual sin, there are factors that can increase the temptation for sexual sin. Perhaps, chief among them is a marriage in which at least one of the people is sexually dissatisfied because the sex is not free or frequent enough. If one person feels sexually denied and discouraged, it increases the temptation to wander outside for sexual satisfaction. But free and frequent sex within marriage helps safeguard and protect the marriage from such sins as bitterness, adultery, pornography, and secret masturbation.
(6) Sex is for comfort.
There are seasons in life when nothing can be said or done to comfort a suffering spouse. In those moments it is the ministry of touch that allows us to connect with our spouses in a way that lovingly serves them and binds us together in the suffering.
Sex is a gift from God. A gift to be stewarded. A gift to be guarded. A gift to be enjoyed. And a gift to be shared together for God’s glory and your good.
(Get the book here!)