I like how some people think of me as completely immune to things as natural as eating and digesting; awakening and sleeping; burping and farting.
I like how some people view me as this little innocent 6-year old, whose only concern- having plucked a bunch of lilies from the numerous flowers growing within her nana’s garden- is to sing beautiful songs to an awesome God, and eat apple pie all day.
I like how so many see me as Mama SU.
I like it; I laugh. Mama SU is seriously Sexually Underrated. Yes, not just sexually starved (thank God for His grace), but indeed underrated!
Does the fact that I talk so much about love, marriage, relationships, sexual purity etc. not show that this is a topic very very close to my heart? In fact, very close to me on so many levels? *le sigh*
Sometimes I look at myself and wonder.. how manage? How could you have kept yourself this long? Yes, I know.. some people have tried further, deeper, wider, better, longer, higher (and many other -ers) than me, but I still look at myself and can’t help but say.. Gurl, you go! And then I think to myself.. Argggh, do I really wana ‘keep going’? Like, literally… It. Is. Not. Easy.
Anyway, I’ve spoken about this before.. in numerous posts. This is just letting you know that even the most God-loving of us feel the pain at times. And we (I speak of myself) feel it very strongly. Almost as intense, body-breaking, and soul-tearing as 40-minus-one invisible lashes. And no, this is not me being dramatic or using the literary diverse of hyperbole. This is me telling you Wsaaaaaaaap!
In times like these, I find solace in my post One Page At A Time, reminding myself of the fact that it’s going to be worth the wait! He is going to be worth the wait! Or I read passages such as Song of Solomon, which could – of course, I am fully aware of the fact- add to the pain. Do people nowadays still talk like this? Oh well, in any case: Long live romance..
1 So where has this love of yours gone, fair one?
Where on earth can he be?
Can we help you look for him?
2-3 Never mind. My lover is already on his way to his garden,
to browse among the flowers, touching the colors and forms.
I am my lover’s and my lover is mine.
He caresses the sweet-smelling flowers.
4-7 Dear, dear friend and lover,
you’re as beautiful as Tirzah, city of delights,
Lovely as Jerusalem, city of dreams,
the ravishing visions of my ecstasy.
Your beauty is too much for me—I’m in over my head.
I’m not used to this! I can’t take it in.
Your hair flows and shimmers
like a flock of goats in the distance
streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.
Your smile is generous and full—
expressive and strong and clean.
Your veiled cheeks
are soft and radiant.
8-9 There’s no one like her on earth,
never has been, never will be.
She’s a woman beyond compare.
My dove is perfection,
Pure and innocent as the day she was born,
and cradled in joy by her mother.
Everyone who came by to see her
exclaimed and admired her—
All the fathers and mothers, the neighbors and friends,
blessed and praised her:
10 “Has anyone ever seen anything like this—
dawn-fresh, moon-lovely, sun-radiant,
ravishing as the night sky with its galaxies of stars?”
(Song of Solomon 6)