We all have them.
Some make more sense (i.e. are “understandable” to those with similar obsessions), some less; but whatever the case may be; we all have them anyway. We love books, we love shoes, we love attending huge events, standing in front of the camera. We love loosing weight, drinking champagne, eating ewa agonyi, or adding plantain to every single meal (!!!). Some of our obsessions we try to hide, others we propagate publicly, loudly, almost as though we were prod of them. Buttom-line: we all have them.
For the African man especially (this might well hold true for others too), it is the big bumbum. No, make it huge. Or, even better, gigantic! The bigger, the better. There is hardly ever such a thing as too big. Heck? How? Too big? No, make it bigger! In fact, double that, if possible! A black men loves him some behind! Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. Some prefer boobs. No one minds boobs.. *rme* But (typically) it is the BUTT they cannot do without. They stop thinking straight at the sight of it, cannot but let their imagination run wild at the mention of it. Bring on the butt.. *le sigh*
Many girls, hence, have retrieved to bum-implants and bum injections. Of course there are many health and life-risks attached to such procedures, but what are they in comparison to male admiration? For the “healthier” option, take the bum-pads *laughs and holds stomach*
And then, of course, let’s not forget the handful of girls who would love to bring it on (literally) but cannot- for lack thereof, and so laugh it off and simply encourage themselves in the Lord. ( ._.) *coughs* Moving on..
For the African woman (and yes, I am cliché-ing and generalizing *stone me*) it is money. Money, money, money. Men love it; women can kill over/for it. It offers security, makes our hearts beat faster, and our teeth shine brighter. Money is good. Make it a lot. No, make it more. If you will, double that again. There is no such thing as “too much money”. The more, the better. And in different currencies? Oh, the Lord is good. Women love themselves a man with lots of money. An old man, daddy issues, whatever.. just make sure he has some money. An ugly fat man, no stamina, whatever.. just make sure he can provide enough luxuries outside the bedroom. *le sigh*
And then, finally, there are those of us who are a slowly buy surly extinguishing species. Who know what really matters. Who have their eyes on the right price. Those of us who cannot be deceived by bums, boobs or money (let’s put aside gender/preferences for now); because we are fully aware of what’s important and what’s not. All we ask for is some..
Oh, if only I could scream this from the rooftop: Give a lady a man with some Beard. BeArD. BEEEEEEARD!!
And for those of you who feel like eyeing me or rolling their eyes.. *scoffs* That’s your business. There are many beard-lovers out there; there are websites dedicated to bearded men, one of which I have absolutely and totally, uncontrollably fallen in love with: Bearded & Black!
So, yes; I know I am not alone. A beard just makes every single man on this planet and beyond look hot!! I understand that I am talking vanity here, but please allow me; at least for a minute. Beards are super manly; they add to your masculinity, they make you whole; yes, I’ll go as far as saying, they complete you. They ARE your destiny! A beard will never let you down! Of course, there is the issue of hygiene and looking after it well, trimming it and treating it, but if you can just manage to do that.. *swoons* not even the sky is your limit!
I don’t know; this is a very emotional topic.. for me. Those of you who know me (personally and virtually) know of my love for beards. I thinks it’s probably also one of the reasons I cannot really be a lesbian. Yes, there are hairy women too, but let’s just (for the sake of this post) not put them into any category.. for now. I just love me some beard!!!
The man with a beard speaks to me. He speaks desire, longing, he just speaks so many things. In sexual ways and non. Yes, in a way, I do acknowledge a small presence of vanity (lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life) in what I am saying here, but it is one of those things I believe will not lead one to hell. Some of y’all men are blessed, and I am just taking a moment to appreciate you and your blessing(s). I am not trying to effeminate those of you who have been struggling to grow one, or who have indeed given up on it all-together (as I do not believe beardlessness is anyone’s desire; that would be like saying some men just want to be impotent. And no, I am not equalling these two; please do not misquote or misunderstand me); you are still men!
Just. Not. MY. Type.
Yes, I have said it; and that precisely is the reason why I’ve decided to put this post into the “Love & Relationships”- category. I decided long ago that I simply could not marry a guy without (lots of) facial hair. Are my priorities misplaced? Maybe. Am I being ridiculous, childish, vain? Perhaps, yes to all of that. Do I need to grow up? Oh, most assuredly. But is it my life, my future, my marriage and my joy? YES! YES! YES! and another YES!!
I am a very simple person. I like simplicity, I appreciate the little things life has to offer. Am I asking for too much when I say I need a man with facial hair? I trow not! Will it keep me satisfied and fulfilled for the rest of my life? Well, it might not, but it sure will keep me attracted to my man. It will make me want to touch him all the time, even when I am upset; make me think of no other man, because all I ever asked for (well, one of the many things anyway), I already have: a man with a beard.
I’ve found myself being attracted to the weirdest looking people with the most beautiful beards. I know what I am tallmbout. I’ve had to consciously make an effort not to walk up to strangers and stroke their beards. Yes, I am weird like that. Beards can make me loose control! *sings shamelessly*
Yes, character and faith and all that is important, we all know that. But let’s not deceive ourselves into thinking we could do without the physical attraction. I could probably compromise and say, fine.. I’ll manage a goaty, but that would be me compromising. Just as a guy could push himself to saying (or not) he’ll manage a huge rather than gigantic bum, but no bum at all? That might be impossible.
I left out a trillion other obsessions that are less (or perhaps just as) common.. Care? Share!