Your ALL?!

Generally speaking, and with the little I’ve seen in this brief life of mine,

I’d say he’s weak.

Oh, sorry.

I’m, talking about MAN!

The man, as referring to the human being in general, rather than any gender in specific.

Man

wicked or just weak?

***

Of recent, I’ve been giving it my all.
Well, him my all.
Not Him, but him.
Now I know it must have been too much.

Literally, emotionally. 

Not for me; for him.

I(t) must have been a bit too much.

We usually say we want it all. All of the other, emotionally, physically, spiritually, perhaps even mentally, and in marriage, add financially. But how many of us can truly handle it?

In my post “Care? Then Dare to Share!” I (hopefully successfully) addressed the issue of openness and transparency in important human relationships. I wasn’t speaking for nothing or no one..

The truth is, most of us are scared of sharing. Scared of being open and/or transparent. Scared of standing naked before the other.. because we carry much shame. Whether we be shamefull or shameless..

Very rarely do we withhold ourselves because we think ourselves too much; most often, we think ourselves too little.

You see, we usually judge ourselves more harshly than others do. We are so much more aware of our own weaknesses (counts for the average sane human being) than others are. We see each frailty magnified, and so, we cannot help but (try to) cover up. An attempt to make us appear more worthy of another’s love and affection”. Yes, we cover up as much as we can.
We find ourselves busy covering up imperfections with as many layers as can be found.. until all that is left is the very reflection of who we were trying hard not to be.

There is no winner in this.

So anyway, I have found that most of the “covering up” happens because we fear being rejected. Fear the other might not like or appreciate what lies beneath. Fear that when having said and done and given all, there won’t be much left. We share just enough to appear open or preferential, but not enough to appear “weak” or “unworthy”.
We share just enough of ourselves to be on the safe side. We want to make sure that, while relationships are always a gamble, should something eventually happen, we walk away intact, in one piece; unharmed.

Well, I’ve come to tell you that
there are no guarantees! There are no guarantees your efforts will be appreciated, and certainly no guarantees you will get back all or even just half of what you’ve chosen to give the other. There are simply no guarantees at all.

And yet, I’d encourage you to give it all anyway.

It’s very much like being (totally) honest, or saying the (entire) truth. It’s funny how we’ve gotten so used to adding adverbs to underline we actually  mean what we are about to say.

Once again, very much like being a “Christian” versus being a “born again”. What’s the difference? You either are or you’re not. You’re either in or out. In both cases. In all cases. Let’s do away with all grey areas; that lukewarm middle-ground that really says nothing at all.

Guess that’s what I’m really trying to say you’re either in it fully, or not at all. There’s no point remaining in a place of insecurity, mediocrity, uncertainty. A space called nothingness.

And so, even when or if it eventually ends, you’re left with the confidence that you tried, and above all, remained true to you! There’s no shame involved in that; in packing your boxes and moving on.

May we not give and move too much..

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. My fav part of this piece and which is going to be on my bb messenger for a while – let’s do away with all grey areas; that lukewarm middle ground that really says nothing at all. There’s freedom in knowing your beliefs and values, doesn’t matter if others don’t appreciate them like you do.

    Sharing freely, hmmm. My prayer is that you (and i ) find that someone or people we can be unashamedly real before and find total acceptance and I also pray that we have the grace to give the people in our lives such love and privilege as well.

  2. Ted says:

    Great piece! Thanks for sharing. I love how you come across as a very positive person in your posts. Regardless of the experience, there is always a lesson. And always a story to share. Makes it look and sound and feel like life actually does make sense all the time, even when we don’t realize it.

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      Thanks for this. Glad you got something out of it 😉

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