Depression as an Instrument

I’ve had some very low moments in my life. And when I say “very low” I really do mean extremely low.
I’ve had some very low moments; some really really low ones. So low, at times the idea of death seemed comforting. The idea, that is. Not death itself.
For even in my lowest of moments, I felt, although death could possible be an option, I preferred life.

You see, I can categorically say I preferred and chose life, not just because I have proof of it (I am here, flesh and blood, typing this right now) but because I am a super daring person. I did not not jump in front of a train, because I was scared to- no, never that- but because in my lowest of moments, I still had hope, that drive for life, that comforting awareness that He was there, aware of my pain, and able to get me through it (whatever “it” was). There was a reason for this season, a challenge to overcome, a victory awaiting.

I’ve come to know it as the ability to encourage myself.

You see, even in my lowest of moments; I simply could not be depressed. But not everyone has been this privileged.

Last night, while I was praying, I got such a powerful impression. While declaring His word and establishing His counsel, my prayer switched. It switched from declaring and superimposing His will, work, and ways, to speaking life. And as I did, I got a picture of a young person (male or female, that I do not know) about to end his/her life. I saw pills, a lifeless body, a soul departing.
And so, all I could do was speak to whatever was speaking to her. For, you see, it must have been a voice. I had to speak against whatever it had been saying; against whatever had driven him/her to such a radical action. I spoke life, when what s/he heard was death. Love, when all s/he felt was fear. Peace, when all s/he knew was loneliness.

How on earth did s/he get here?

Getting to a point where you really do not wish to live anymore is one thing. But actively seeking to end your life; that’s a whole different ball-game. Had s/he no one to speak to? Confide in?

S/he was a believer.

And it broke my heart. It tore it almost in pieces. A depressed believer. What could have been his hope(lessness)? Where was his/her faith?

Iron sharpeneth iron.

And so, I was once again faced with the very sad truth that the rain really does fall upon the righteous and the unrighteous, the good and the bad, the pretty and not-so-beautiful. No one exempt.

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” (Eccl. 9:11)

Guess the difference really lies in how we deal with such things; such situations. Do we turn to Him or away? To people or to animals? To the Word or the world?

What helped me in my lowest of moments was turning to Him. But for some, that will not be enough. Some will need others to spend time with them, encourage them, help them through it, pray with them, pray for them.
After I prayed for his/her soul to return to its physical body, I prayed the Lord would connect us. He can do that. I prayed He would connect us so I could be a supportive friend. I think I’m a pretty cool person, I’m rather extremely fond of myself, and so, yes, I believe I do people good. I don’t see anyone being depressed around me for too long. And so, I wanted to be a friend.

Sometimes God needs YOU to step Him, say what He is saying, simply because right now, s/he can’t hear Him. It really does not make you a better person or believer; not at all; all it does is make you an instrument in His hands.

While I was thinking about all this, a good friend who’s been on the down-low for a while, came to mind; and then I remembered another, and yet another. And the more I thought about it, them, and people in general, the more I realized that depression might just be floating about in the atmosphere, looking for hearts to reside in, and bodies to push to the curb.

My guess is, if you are not depressed, there’s at least one depressed soul around you. Much closer than you think; probably masking his/her depression in tons of make-up, deceptive smiles, expensive clothing, or extensive church activities.

Today, I want (no, I need) you to look a bit closer and look more carefully at the people around you. Note changes in their personalities and general behaviour, and be there for them! Listen, ask open questions, seek to understand, encourage, show love, pray. Don’t argue it away, but pray for peace and joy to come back and stay.

Rather than allowing depression be an instrument of death, be that instrument that brings back life.


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