From The Heart

Today I’m sharing a piece by a little friend of mine. I simply told her to write from the heart.

* * *

Sometimes I think I am just weird. Other times I am sure I am mean and emotionless and I do not have a heart. And occasionally, I think I am the best friend anyone can have. I call myself the ‘bipolar chic’ because there are phases when I swing between two extremes – Happy and withdrawn. Yes I know what you are thinking…or do I?

‘What do you do for fun?’…’don’t you get bored’?  I have been asked these questions a thousand times and my usual answer is ‘nope, I don’t, I have my mind to occupy me’ and I get the confused look and small smile. Oh well, only a few people understand. I love living in my mind. I tell people that if they take a walk down the streets of my mind, it’d blow their own mind. I may be wrong though. I’m still waiting for someone to take that walk.

For those of us who own calendars or phones, we’d notice we are halfway through the year (Yippee! Or not?) I remember looking forward to this year. I knew it’d bring lots of good things…no, great things and it hasn’t disappointed me…not yet and I’m sure it definitely won’t. From people finding love to babies being born, new jobs, new friendships/relationships forged, new careers decisions, personal growth and so on. I can boast of a few of these events in my life but I’m most sure of just two. Don’t you wonder which two?

Nope, I haven’t found love…I take that back. I find love every day in little bits but you know what I mean. Finding that ‘someone’… I haven’t had a baby but I have gotten a beautiful adorable niece…I haven’t had a new career decision but I have grown both physically (arrrgh, now I have to start a workout routine) and personally and yay, I have forged new relationships. You know that feeling when you meet someone new, you think he/she is going to be boring but being the nice person (or you are just bored and need a new ‘challenge’) you are, you just give him/her a chance and you are surprised?

Yep! That happened to me a few weeks ago and I’m still reeling from it. How comforting and relaxing it is to be in someone’s company and not feel any pressure to impress or be impressed upon. And being the weird me, I have this annoying habit of tending to overthink things and overanalyze the friendship and wonder how long it’d last or when it’d end or who’d end it and and and… but that is changing slowly. I met someone that has made me ‘chill’. Has made me relax, live in the moment, enjoy it and move on to the next without ruining it. Like he literally grabs my shoulders, gives me a shake and says ‘Relax’. Maybe this is just me growing up; maybe he is actually helping me learn to chill. I don’t know. Either ways, it’s working.

I have been told I have a funny way of choosing my friends or making a new friend. Not exactly ‘choose’ a friend but it gives you extra points in my books. The oddest things attract me to people…

The way you drive! LOL! You know the saying ‘the way a guy (I guess it applies to ladies too) treats his car/drives says a lot about him’. I take it very seriously. I know it sounds ridiculous but it gives me an idea of how ‘in control’ a man is with his life and shows how he’d handle a situation; cool and calm or panicked, harassed and whiny.

Your sense of style… I have this friend who hates to button his shirt cuffs. Like really?! It just rubs me the wrong way. We’ve argued about this a few times but still…  And yep, he’s lost points in my book! On the other hand I have loads of friends who just make me smile when I see them all dressed up and put together. Clean straight lines. This also applies to living quarters. Have a lovely place and you’ve got my attention.

The way you are with my friends and family… I have a few girls I call my friends and they mean a lot to me. I guess you can say we think alike or kinda. So win their hearts and you’ve almost won mine.

The sense of humour and sarcasm… Major point! I LOVE to laugh! And I also love sarcasm. These are two things that totally describe me. I love a good friendly banter with lots of jabs and jokes. It makes the world go round! Literally! LOL!

A lot more silly things do attract me but in my bid not to sound crazy, I’d shut up now. I’ve come to the realization that despite all these, some people just find a way to boycott these ‘rules’ and find a way to your heart and you fall in love with them. These friends get on your last nerves and push you to your breaking point, get under your skin and make you want to pull out your hair but still you love them nevertheless. They become family and they are a part of your life and you theirs. I’m glad to say I have a few of those and I think everyone should. It’s one of the most beautiful things in life.

Friendship.

* * *

It’s funny (in a very non-amusing way) to see just how many roads lead to Rome. Funny how just almost every thing in and around me seems to be revolving around friendship.

The most precious jewels.

Friends. Some you search out for, eagerly, almost desperately. Never to let go.
While others you simply find without even searching. While on a journey, travelling an unknown path, willing to explore. Accepting whatever good life throws at you.

Serendipity.

And then, at another junction, you move on. Away. Or just one decides to go a different way.

Without wanting to sound melodramatic, I feel I’ve been on the loosing side. Way too many times.

Maybe it’s time to walk alone.
Not to have. Not to hold. Not to let go.

Maybe.

Not from, but for my heart.

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