Harsh Words from a Loving Friend..?

We all want to be relevant in a way. Have a voice, have a say.
We all want to make a contribution and be acknowledged, respected- even admired- for it; and that’s perfectly okay.

Yesterday, however, I was thinking about where to draw the line..?

I strongly believe humanity was purposefully created to fulfil and complete one (or numerous) important task(s) on this earth during their existence; that no human life ever is or ever was a waste/mistake; that we each could not do or succeed without the other.
Yes, I strongly believe that my life is worth living, as is yours, and that it is best lived together. I am strongly convinced that there are things/goals/aspirations we could never reach or each without each other’s help or input.

However, I also believe that people should learn to run in their lane..

Truth is, you are really only great if you do what you were called to do- not something else (for there could not be anything greater than fulfilling your very own mission) and certainly not someone else’s.
Of recent I have come across a handful of people who have- too unsure of what they were indeed created to do and be- simply decided to do something, anything really, to get by and become somewhat successful enough to be relevant and publicly acknowledged; be it..

.. starting a music career
.. going into fashion and design(ing)
.. creating a new blog/website
.. moving to a new country
.. registering a company
.. getting hitched, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with any of the aforementioned ventures; my question, however, is why..?

Figuratively speaking, I think that all roads must lead to Rome. Each step along the way, each move you make, each decision you take, each relationship you build should make sense in the grand scheme of things. They should all lead to a desired outcome, your Rome. And whereas I encourage some lee-way, some room for free-styling and flexibility, giving God the time and permission to be Himself, scatter your plans and change the course of your journey, there must be a carefully laid out plan, a blueprint, a vision, a goal.

Hence the need for guidance! Leading and direction- both spiritual and natural- as much in the laying out of a plan, as in its actualization.

Yesterday during service, our guest-minister briefly diverted, making the audience laugh, when he admonished us to “Ask your (blood) brother/sister if he/she could marry you. Most of you would find out the reasons why you’re still single..” And although it was clearly a joke, there was some truth in it: while there is no one perfect, those closest to us could most easily point out our imperfections.

Yesterday after service, I received a highly inappropriate gift from a lovely, well-meaning friend. And although it made me a bit uncomfortable to address it afterwards, I decided to educate him on the art of gift-giving, for his own good. After-all, I would really not want him to make a similar mistake with someone else.

As friends, we have been instructed to speak the truth in love; to sometimes discourage, cause discomfort for ourselves and/or others because it is the only right thing to do right now. Sometimes you have to discourage a friend from wearing that dress that does not fit, appear at a talent contest with a cranky voice, start that business venture she lacks the information, discipline and drive to successfully execute or lead. Sometimes, you offer some guidance, having discouraged. You encourage them to either do some exercise or start shopping for their size, take some vocal lessons, do a short-course or perhaps another degree. Sometimes, you point our gifts and talents that stand out, but they might not be aware of themselves.

Whatever you decide to do, just make sure your words- harsh or discouraging- are spoken in love and because you love.
No one really wants advice from someone who doesn’t really care about them.

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. ceemee says:

    Soo true. As lovely as always

  2. Profound!…
    A number of points here ring a very familiar tune…because they happen to form the core of my daily thoughts&the ‘Why’ question I rarely get an answer to.

    I’m glad i’m not alone in wanting myself&everyone else to lead purposeful lives that culminate in the big picture, the Master paints for each one of us.

    Cheers ma’am!

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      “The Master paints for each one of us”.. nicely put!

  3. Tara says:

    Sometimes you need to try out a few things before you know what exactly you are called to do.
    I believe no experience is a waste. Although many people just keep going round in circles, eventually arriving right at the beginning.
    It’s been my prayer to stop wandering around and start living my life purposefully. Thanks for this.

    1. DeMorrieaux says:

      You’re very welcome.
      Yes, the problem with wandering far and wide is that you’re loosing time you cannot reclaim back.
      There is a time for everything: laughter and tears, sorrow and joy; gathering and scattering.. but no time to waste!
      May the Lord clearly whisper His will for your life into your ears..and may you hear and understand 🙂

  4. Mayowa says:

    Nicely said! I think most people’s problem is disobedience and feeling like you can actually do this or that ’cause you are “smart”. We atimes venture into something else that seems to be more profitable and disregard God’s clearly Spoken plans for our lives. I believe it’s only people with genuine intentions that can correct you in love and it would actually have an effect. Lovely post… Thank you!

    1. Patty says:

      So true. It is easy to tell when ppl correct you for all the wrong reasons.
      I often have the problem of not correcting ppl becos I don’t want them to feel unloved, but I have learnt. Cos typically I’ll be the one to console afterwards or pick up the pieces. So why not just say it right from the start, deal with it, and move on. Safe everyone the heartache afterwards. Makes total sense tbh

  5. Mayowa says:

    *People’s problems are*

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