How many of us get excited about new ideas, motivated by speakers, inspired by write-ups.. but do absolutely nothing about it/things/ourselves?
How many of us are quick to react, quick to commit ourselves to doing certain things, but even quicker to throw them all away yet again?
When I encouraged you to step out of your limitations in my recent post Do Something Radical I really hoped it would do much more than just excite your emotions; I really hoped and prayed it would surge your actions; giving you that final push to actually doing something about your current location and hoped-for destination.
Well, if it didn’t for you; I’m proud to announce it did for me!
As already stated, I was/am in the process of taking some rather drastic measures, and started on Monday by meeting with my boss to announce I was going to have to make some changes to my work status. Needless to say, she was shocked.. and I was forced to experience some rather unexpected chess moves. (I shall tell you more about this later..)
Anyway, what I really want to focus on in this post are the moments and the thoughts/emotions I went through in the moments leading up to the meeting with my boss:
- How will she take it?
- Will she think I only used them/the office because I wanted to move to Nigeria?
- Will she feel taken advantage of?
- Is this the right time? After-all she just got back from a long trip.
- What if she’s not in a good mood? Will it affect her reaction/response to what I’m about to say?
- Am I sure I have prayed about this enough?
- Is this really the right time for me to quit (if it comes to it)?
- Have I saved up enough to embark on this new personal venture?
- Am I totally sure I am not reacting- rather than acting- here?
I could feel my body getting tense, my blood pressure increase, my hands getting sweaty. Doubt and fear.
And right there and then, an old powerful quote came to mind..
The fear of offence is often greater than the fear of death.
How often do we watch movies that follow this pattern: Boy visits aunt who is obviously a witch. She smiles grimly and nudges him to eat the food on the plate right in front of him. He kind of knows the food has been poisoned (and we know this because the movie directors make sure this vital information doesn’t escape our attention) and turns the plate around a few times. He knows he should really run out of the house and as far away as possible but the aunt keeps looking, and smiling, beckoning him to at least taste it. He knows he shouldn’t but he does anyway. He does not want to come across as rude, or of suspecting her. And so he closes his eyes, lifts the spoon to his mouth, swallows the food, and -of course- dies (just to be later revived..) Yes, yes, whatever.. but you get the point..
For a second he thought of doing the only reasonable and logical thing; but not wanting to hurt her feelings, he chooses to sacrifice his life. Dramatic much.. I did not write the script. *shrug*
Anyway, for many of us it really is a quite similar story. Probably not quite that extreme but similar none-the-less.
How many of us choose to go against our better instincts, nudges, that still small voice, because we do not want to hurt or offend another, or simply lack courage?
Well, on Monday, just for a second I was almost not going to do what I knew I needed to, because FEAR had stepped in.
Something as simple as an imagined thought, opinion, statement, probability, possibility.. something that has not happened, never might, and most probably never will.. gripped me.
Something not half as real as my plans, hopes, wishes and dreams dared to rise up within me, hold me bound and hold me down.
I shook it off.. I knew I needed to. A simple prayer would not do. I needed some time to worship.
You see, the enemy really is quite the con-artist!
He dropped as thought, a possibility in your mind, that you are too slow to dismiss, too quick to accept and entertain.
Why is it so much easier to embrace fear than faith; failure than success; pain than pleasure?
Why do we find it easier to see ourselves falling than rising? Falling short than excelling and exceeding?
It really is a mind-thing!
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2)
Stepping our and doing something new is not going to be easy or stress-free.
It will not be welcomed or supported or praised by others either.
And no, just because God told you to do it, doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be any challenges coming with it.
On the contrary, He told you so that you would have something solid to hold on to right in the midst of challenges and opposition!
Today I have come to tell you to buckle up; wear your (mental and spiritual) armour and be/get ready to fight!
It will not be easy.. no, but it sure will be worth it!
Do not allow fear (of whatever or whoever) hold you back or bound.
Believe in The Power that resides within; it is really Him working in and through you.
Can you just trust that as you step out in faith, He will work it out?