There are so many things going on in my mind right now, so permit a scattered post.
An outward reflection of my inner self; my heart and my mind.
The blueprint of ME.
You know how you make a mistake, go astray, then again find your way?
You know the hurt that you create and the scars left behind as evidence of mistakes made?
Well, I do hope you know..
You know how you then begin to look at those scars and start judging everything, yes life itself- through its depth?
How nothing else ever seems to be or become or look and feel as it used to?
How nothing ever returns to normal, simply because of the non-you?
The you that did the unthinkable, unimaginable, the unforgettable (if not unforgivable)..
You know, the you that isn’t really YOU at all?
Well, what I’ve learnt is that often, when we make mistakes, what happens afterwards is much more than actually understood and perceived.
Most often, it is neither the mistake nor the consequences of one’s mistake that is the problem. Most of us are humble enough to admit, confess and turn away from wrong-doing.
It never really is about sin (in and of itself), it is about your mind.
It is about feeling and thinking and judging differently: the alteration of your mindset. That becomes the biggest problem!
You start looking at non-you, feeling like non-you, and acting like non-you. I really stop being YOU all together.
And hence, believing you do not know who you now are, you do not trust you anymore.
You do not trust your own dreams, your own hopes, your own actions, your own God.
You no longer trust the things He shows you, tells you, confirms to you.
You really no longer trust anyone anymore at all.
What I have learnt again today, and what the Lord so beautifully showed me just this morning, is that it is okay to trust again!
Today, I have beautifully been reminded that in Christ you are new, and your mind too must be renewed.
Today, I once again so beautifully acknowledge just how much He has renewed and re-shaped my mind over the years.
It is a never-ending ongoing process.
The ability to trust again.
Not others, not life, but who you are IN HIM; and who you are TO HIM.
What I have learnt again today, is that God really does forgive. That He forgives and restores, and returns to an intimate relationship with the real you, even when you still feel like the non-you.
It is okay to trust again!
Trust that He speaks to you, that He reveals secrets to you, that He loves and trust you again..
as though you never sinned.
I hope I am encouraging you today.
Just a couple of nights ago I dreamt a strange dream I did not think I could or indeed should share with anyone.
One Wednesday night we prayed a strange prayer in church, and I sense a powerful release; perhaps a confirmation of that same dream?
And just today, so many questions, thoughts, worries and fears answered.
So many words He had shown and indeed tried to get me to see, understand, let go off.. confirmed.
When in the midst of trial and turmoil, and questions and uncertainty you hear Him say that He is still here, still near, you really can rest.
And even more than that, you can trust that He’s really been there all along.
You know how a clear word from Him is ever-so-often denied by others? How you are made to think and doubt you perhaps just imagined, just thought, or probably just rationalized a word? How what was revealed was no revelation at all, seeing as He could no longer speak to you?
Well, once that veil is broken and that lie proved null and void, the answers to numerous questions flow in, and your heart set at ease, a beautiful shower of clarity flows in.
Of promises of His that still stand, and words spoken that still hold true.
Today, I am encouraging you to embrace the real you again!
To not allow the non-you hold you back from truly being you and trusting you, and trusting that you hear Him!
What really happens when you step out, is that you give room for doubt to step in: the battle within/for your mind!
The thing is that doubt never really travels alone, it journeys with fear and insecurities, and restlessness and hopelessness.
It brings in a perverted and adulterated version of your hopes and wishes and dreams.. His promises.
Today, trace your steps back to the real you…and trust
His word, His will, His ways again.. His blueprint of you.