Sometimes I really wonder just how intelligent intelligent men really are.
How intelligent, knowledgeable, wise, understanding insightful intelligent Christians are.
I wondered about human thought-processes, conceptions, ideas.
I thought about the spheres of life.
The earth and the spirit world.
Life and death.
Angels and demons.
..and I came to powerfully humbling conclusions.
Some of which I will share with you.
So, first I thought about life. Life, as in the concept of being conceived and born (man’s first breath), the duration of man’s breathing (also known as living), and the termination of stage one of man’s existence (the final breath).
Then I thought of life in terms of humanity (starting with Adam) and ending with Christ(‘s second return/Armageddon).
And finally, I thought of what was before.. and what would be after.
I remembered Lucifer’s wish of becoming like the Most High, being Him, taking His place.
And so, I pictured The Almighty inviting him to a game of chess,
I looked at times and seasons, at history.. and all the devil’s calculated moves.
The introduction of sodomy, homosexuality. Defiance.
The brokenness of homes, broken marriages. The corruption of spirituality.
Manipulation and deception.
Pain and suffering. Abuse and misuse. Terror, threats and wars.
The end of humanity.
I looked at times and seasons, at history.. and shook my head at all his moves.
The pain and suffering The Almighty permitted, did not remove.
All to make a point: one move!
I looked at history and smiled,
with the millions of seemingly successful attempts to break man-kind,
all it took The Almighty to win this game of chess was one move.
One move, one life, one death, one cross.
And so I looked at life itself.
At the pain we go through, the prayers we pray, the hopes we have, the wishes and dreams we share.
I looked at our mind, our thought-processes. I searched for wisdom, understanding, insight..
.. I looked at emptiness; for there was none.
None who understood the purpose of times and seasons.
His timing. Allowing and permitting it all, just to make that one move at the only right time.
And so, once again, my mind was forced to wondered back in time. Seemingly to and fro.
Where would it go? Where would He go.
I looked at the cross in an attempt to find myself.
My purpose, my calling. My ministry.
But I found none.
The harder I searched, I looked.. the less I saw.
The less I saw of myself, the more I saw of Him.
It had never been about me.
And as my mind continued to wonder,
I began to see, to understand.
The cross, the sacrifice, the giving of Himself.
It was never about me.
This game of chess was all about Him.
The ultimate victor.
The ultimate victory.
..and it all began to make sense.
If indeed He existed way before the earth was formed, and if indeed He has always been Him,
my (non-)existence would not, should not – and as a matter of fact- could not define Him.
If indeed He was God all by Himself, and existed independently of anything and everything ever created,
my (non-)existence would not, should not – and yes, as a matter if fact- could not affect Him.
So why bother?
Why make me?
Why find and form a Bride to love Him?
Defiance of the enemy!
If indeed He formed the world and all its inhabitants, gave us life and took it away,
if indeed He ruled over both good and evil and held the hearts of all living men in His hand,
if indeed nothing ever happend behind His back, nothing could hide, nothing could run,
if indeed our existence was but a vapour in the wind, a wave in the ocean,
His Being God could not be about me.
The defiance of the enemy!
And so.. I began to see.
I began to see how I was both the pawn in the hand of His enemy,
and the victory over sin through the hand of The King.
I began to see.. I began to see how little ol’ me could fit into this picture of eternal and true liberty.
Yes, I began to see how He, through me, sought to defy the enemy.
..and how I, through His enemy, was defying Him.
Bringing shame upon his name, in support of the destruction of true liberty.
My mind. My will. My freedom. My ME.
.. and as I sat here.. thinking, about the cross, His life, His death; reconciliation,
I once again realized how undeserving I have been, still am, and forever will be in light of His profession,
It is finished!
..and so I looked at that game of chess, the earth, the board on which they played, I was once again determined to be a useful tool in the hand of my Maker.
Knowing – not who would win but – who had already won, I chose to remain on the winning-side.
Especially in light of my insignificance, I considered it a rare privilege: my life His pride.