Conflicts Within..

I’m about to go get a few passport-sized photographs taken. I think it’s about the right time to renew my passport and national ID card. I thought of getting a professional picture taken for my new CV to – a requirement here, you see: letting hiring managers put a face to the name/application. I’m somewhat unsure…

Not Even Doormats are Dormant

A couple of weeks ago I really needed help. And while it was hardly a “do or die” affair, my need did create an unhealthy and uncomfortable number of sleepless nights and restless days. From waking up mid-night, to an increased heart-rate and shortness of breath, I simply knew it was time to take action: to…

Excuse Me, Lock Eyes!

The day I realized I lacked no material things, was the very same sub-zero-degrees day I nearly locked eyes with this middle-aged Austrian man on the train with no shoes. His barefooted state was not a choice, I knew. Feeling compassionate, I closed my eyes, walked up to him, asked him if I could buy…

MoU: Friendship

Last night, at around 3 am, I decided to call my Lady J. If there was someone I could call at 3 am, someone who would bail me out at such unholy an hour, it was her. Sure no lives were at risk and no investments at stake; but it was urgent enough for me. Although I had called…

A Piece of My Mind..

Don’t you just get frustrated at times? I mean, like really frustrated.. with people, with God!? Don’t you just want to give Him a piece of your mind sometimes? Well, I certainly do. Although I do tell myself, “What’s the point exactly, seeing as He sees and reads and understands your mind.?”, it hardly ever…

How Time Flies..

Roughly this time last year, I did about the same thing as I’m doing today: sitting at my desk at work.. Just that it was a different desk at a different place of work, in a different country; with a different kind of feeling, writing something completely different. Well, maybe not that different anyway: I…

Tears | When your heart tears..

It is precisely how I felt last night. It seemed like a dream. Almost. “Are you sure?” I was tempted to ask. But of course she was. I could see it in her eyes. You wouldn’t make such a call just like that. Telling you a friend had just passed. Just like that..? I guess…

No Longer Searching..

I was rummaging through some unpublished drafts of months and years passed, when I realized how truly satisfying it was to write down your thoughts and share your challenges and/or experiences. Truth is, from the standpoint of now, my previously published post is untrue. For right now I am missing no one and am longing for nothing. Right…

Crazy Days..

Don’t you sometimes just pause, sit and wonder.. ..about the state of the earth, this life, our world? The fate of humanity? Sometimes I envy both the dead and unborn.. what do they know? Nothing at all. They are oblivious to it all.. From disappearing and crashing planes, to wars and attacks, shootings and lootings….

Prices & Tags

Earlier this year I made some very profound changes. Changes spanning across numerous areas, aspects and facets of my life. For the sake of this post, let’s just call it My Extreme (Personal) Make-over. Earlier in the year (and I know, to those of you who read my previous post, this might sound somewhat contradictory; but…

The Incubator

Just a few days ago, I once again thought about women. The woman-man, that is: the man with a womb. The person- be it male or female- with the ability to conceive, nurture, give birth to, grow/train and protect dreams. Dreams are really not very different from children: They are mentally conceived: a vision, picture of what could (or…

No Longer Chasing..

I dreamt about him last night. Yes, him. Again. But this time, I woke up differently. Indifferent. Having given up a night for him, I refused to give him a(ny more) moment(s) of my day(s). Determinedly. No longer chasing. And so I thought about things I would rather think of. Consciously making the effort to…

Normal Days..

On normal days I do not worry about what others might think or see. I feel no shame or insecurity. On normal days, I’m happy, I’m free. On days like these, I’m at ease with being me. On normal days I do not worry about tomorrow. I feel no gloom, no condemnation. I smile, I laugh….

Reflexions

Sometimes when I’m in a sober and reflective mood, ready and hungry and thirsty for mental food, something to inspire me, I simply read up quotes from people who have made a difference; be that in my life or on a national/global scale. One of these persons today is Benjamin Disraeli. Some of his quotes…

#BringBackOurGirls

Of recent I was reminded of a beautifully deep quote, Do not look upon me, because I am dark,Because the sun has tanned me.My mother’s sons were angry with me;They made me the keeper of the vineyards,But my own vineyard I have not kept. How often do we find ourselves busy doing all but the right things? Misplaced priorities….

Presence

Sometimes pain isn’t necessarily bad. A sign of His displeasure and absence. Sometimes pleasure isn’t necessarily good. A sign of His commendation and pleasure. Sometimes pain and pleasure simple are. I guess I am once again reminded- call it a Stone of Remembrance- that neither pleasure nor pain are permanent. ..and that right in the…

Silence

Sometimes your heart is weary; sometimes your heart is weak. Sometimes you want to talk about it, while at other times you don’t. ..but it is always nice to be asked.  

Consistency..

Consistent in your own right, you are.. I said.  In your own right. So wrong. Consistent? Here we stood, sat, spoke after many years. Through the screen he could not see, could not sense my tears. My fears. Not the slightest regret? He thought I was too lively, too full-on, too life-embracing. Too adventurous, too…

More Food for Thought..

God’s grace has a drenching about it. A wildness about it. A white-water, riptide, turn-you-upside-downness about it. Grace comes after you. It rewires you. From insecure to God-secure. From regret-riddled to better-because-of-it. From afraid-to-die to ready-to-fly. Grace is the voice that calls us to change and gives us the power to pull it off. – Max…

Food for Thought..

Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe How do people feel around you? As John C Maxwell beautifully put it, the key to…

Do Something Radical!

You know how they say All roads leads to Rome?  Well, literally (obviously) not all roads take you to Rome. Some take you to Paris, Vienna, London.. Lagos; while others take you nowhere at all. They stop right in the middle of nowhere (a non-location?), or in an environment you had absolutely no business walking into…

Which would YOU rather have.. and why?

We all have expectations in/of life; Goals we’ve set for ourselves and want to achieve; Things we want to do/ have/ be. We all want to live long enough (survive), be achievers in one way/area or the other (succeed) and stand out for who we are (be significant). But if left to choose just ONE,…

Two Words

Many attempts to teach are destroyed by saying too much. Unfortunately I’ve forgotten who said that, but I dare say (in my own personal and individual honest opinion) it is a rather indisputable fact. So, If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in TWO WORDS?

Little Droplets..

Remember that dream of yours? Yes, that one you’re sometimes ashamed to admit you’re still thinking of, secretly holding on to. That dream that simply won’t go away. A picture painted in abstract colours and yet so clear and plain in your mind. That vision you once saw but is threatening to fade away. Remember…

The Wisdom of The Ages

I love underwear. And even more than that, I love lingerie. And because I love it, I buy it.. whenever I can. An unhealthy relationship with money..? Anyway, so just a few days before moving to Lagos I (naturally) went lingerie-shopping. Upon Returning home, I walked into my parents bedroom, Daddy, see what I got. (holding…

What’s YOUR Goal?

To be great? Win the lost. An ambassador for God? Or perhaps to make a lasting impact? To create an effective positive change. To be used and useful? All these sound rather noble. Quite wonderful goals indeed. But are they really what it is all about? What is it you live for? Dream and sing…

Quote of the Day

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.” -Marshall Foch

Thought of the Day

“ I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” — Mark Twain

An Unusual (Fl)air of Honesty and (Im)modesty

Some pretty interesting things have happened over the past couple of days. I wasn’t sure what name to give this post initially, as I had a couple of working titles; but I shall try and work them into this post as best I can. I think I’m a really cool person. At least I think so most…

Depression as an Instrument

I’ve had some very low moments in my life. And when I say “very low” I really do mean extremely low. I’ve had some very low moments; some really really low ones. So low, at times the idea of death seemed comforting. The idea, that is. Not death itself. For even in my lowest of…

The Story of The Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked: ‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’ His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil…

Be Glad Your Nose Is On Your Face!

Sometimes I wish my bum was bigger. Okay, let me be brutally honest, I always wish it was. I like big round bums. Bums that scream “grab me” from afar. Bums you notice from far across the street, preferably avenue (!!); a bum that simply has an existence on and of its very own. But I don’t….

The More We Let God…

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be… It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin…

Quote of the Day

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.                   -Eleanor Roosevelt

Fighting Temptations

“Do I look okay?”He had rushed; he was panting.Could he sense my hesitation? My, he did look enchanting! Tonight I longed to do wrong; The urge to give in too strong. For once to finally let go, and just go with the flow. A sudden desire. For his spirit: He loved the Lord. For his soul: His…

Cries

Today I’m sharing another poem written by my good friend Toyin; Cries. She’s written for this blog before; so check out her poem Clean Slate too! Cries She cries and no one hears  She cries and no one cares  She cries and no one dares,  To ask her why?  She walks around with tear  Stained cheeks.  That glisten when it rains.    Isn’t it obvious the pain  She doesn’t try to hide?   She wears it on her sleeve  Like a tattoo artist feane.  The pain so visible,  To only her is seems.  If only she could bleed  And watch this red river run dry.  Only then will she be free   As her soul slowly slips away. – Oluwatoyin Jawando

At Mother’s Bosom

She was home. A safe haven. Very different from the protection a father could offer. Had I known of the emptiness I would suffer; the darkness that was waiting to be my shadow, I would have entered that grave too. It wasn’t her life alone that ended with her demise. No one understood. It was the…

TOP 5: Streams of Thoughts and Poetry

Okay, so I’ve decided to share my favourite five “streams of thoughts and poetry” posts with you and tell you the story behind them. 5. Like A River The most recent of these posts happens to be one of my favourite; although quite a few people thought it was a rather dark one. I like it because it…

Like A River

I watched with bewilderment Childlike amusement The people The chatter The laughter The flatter The stream Its flow Where would it go? Changing scenes. I watched with confusion Yet another intrusion Oh, did she not know? New surroundings. Too much noise Not enough order Yet another overstepped border? It was all happening too fast Surely,…

The Weight

The weight of his left arm It still bore heavily upon her. She felt crushed. Could this make it right? A sudden embarrassment overcame her.  Had he noticed her reciting their vows to the rhythm of his thrusts? She hoped he had, Although it hardly made a difference  Now.. The Wetness Liquid spreading between her…

The Proposal

I wouldn’t have turned around, had He not been that insistent. I wouldn’t have answered Him, had His Word not been persistent. I wouldn’t have finally accepted Him, had His love not been consistent. I wouldn’t have.. But it was. You see, I wasn’t wicked, I was weak. I wasn’t fragile I was frail. But…

Words of Wisdom

I came across some very wise words by an 19th century American poet last night, and have decided to share them with you.. Read and take them in: Words of Wisdom by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he…

What Have YOU to Offer?

The question “What can you offer” comes up wherever you go; be it you trying to sell yourself and your skills to a potential employer, enquiring about services at any/every kind of service-provider, or in the dating game. It’s a give and take wherever you go; even with faith. Most of us- it is in…

Things That Make Me Smile

I’ve had a few really awesome ideas for short-stories in my head but I fear the idea might be much more beautiful than the completed work, and so: you must wait for it. Tarry a bit; be patient with me.. and I shall write the vision down on paper. See what I did there? \(°▽°)/ Anyhow…..

Yourself In Him

He called me to his room. The stern look on his face made me feel anxious. Listen child, there is something I want to share with you today. It isn’t much, but it is all I have. Be sure to always remember. I sat down and listened attentively, nervously moving my legs like a child…