No Longer Chasing..

I dreamt about him last night. Yes, him. Again. But this time, I woke up differently. Indifferent. Having given up a night for him, I refused to give him a(ny more) moment(s) of my day(s). Determinedly. No longer chasing. And so I thought about things I would rather think of. Consciously making the effort to…

Normal Days..

On normal days I do not worry about what others might think or see. I feel no shame or insecurity. On normal days, I’m happy, I’m free. On days like these, I’m at ease with being me. On normal days I do not worry about tomorrow. I feel no gloom, no condemnation. I smile, I laugh….

Consistency..

Consistent in your own right, you are.. I said.  In your own right. So wrong. Consistent? Here we stood, sat, spoke after many years. Through the screen he could not see, could not sense my tears. My fears. Not the slightest regret? He thought I was too lively, too full-on, too life-embracing. Too adventurous, too…

Quote of the Day

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.” -Marshall Foch

Thought of the Day

“ I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” — Mark Twain

Be Glad Your Nose Is On Your Face!

Sometimes I wish my bum was bigger. Okay, let me be brutally honest, I always wish it was. I like big round bums. Bums that scream “grab me” from afar. Bums you notice from far across the street, preferably avenue (!!); a bum that simply has an existence on and of its very own. But I don’t….

Fighting Temptations

“Do I look okay?”He had rushed; he was panting.Could he sense my hesitation? My, he did look enchanting! Tonight I longed to do wrong; The urge to give in too strong. For once to finally let go, and just go with the flow. A sudden desire. For his spirit: He loved the Lord. For his soul: His…

Cries

Today I’m sharing another poem written by my good friend Toyin; Cries. She’s written for this blog before; so check out her poem Clean Slate too! Cries She cries and no one hears  She cries and no one cares  She cries and no one dares,  To ask her why?  She walks around with tear  Stained cheeks.  That glisten when it rains.    Isn’t it obvious the pain  She doesn’t try to hide?   She wears it on her sleeve  Like a tattoo artist feane.  The pain so visible,  To only her is seems.  If only she could bleed  And watch this red river run dry.  Only then will she be free   As her soul slowly slips away. – Oluwatoyin Jawando

At Mother’s Bosom

She was home. A safe haven. Very different from the protection a father could offer. Had I known of the emptiness I would suffer; the darkness that was waiting to be my shadow, I would have entered that grave too. It wasn’t her life alone that ended with her demise. No one understood. It was the…

TOP 5: Streams of Thoughts and Poetry

Okay, so I’ve decided to share my favourite five “streams of thoughts and poetry” posts with you and tell you the story behind them. 5. Like A River The most recent of these posts happens to be one of my favourite; although quite a few people thought it was a rather dark one. I like it because it…

Like A River

I watched with bewilderment Childlike amusement The people The chatter The laughter The flatter The stream Its flow Where would it go? Changing scenes. I watched with confusion Yet another intrusion Oh, did she not know? New surroundings. Too much noise Not enough order Yet another overstepped border? It was all happening too fast Surely,…

The Weight

The weight of his left arm It still bore heavily upon her. She felt crushed. Could this make it right? A sudden embarrassment overcame her.  Had he noticed her reciting their vows to the rhythm of his thrusts? She hoped he had, Although it hardly made a difference  Now.. The Wetness Liquid spreading between her…

The Proposal

I wouldn’t have turned around, had He not been that insistent. I wouldn’t have answered Him, had His Word not been persistent. I wouldn’t have finally accepted Him, had His love not been consistent. I wouldn’t have.. But it was. You see, I wasn’t wicked, I was weak. I wasn’t fragile I was frail. But…

Yourself In Him

He called me to his room. The stern look on his face made me feel anxious. Listen child, there is something I want to share with you today. It isn’t much, but it is all I have. Be sure to always remember. I sat down and listened attentively, nervously moving my legs like a child…

A Light Woman

As the very embodiment of Victorian Romanticist that I am, I am sharing one of Robert Browning’s poems today. This just goes to show that some things simply do not change, ever. Through times as seasons men will be men and women, well.. we shall be women too *shrugs*. Hope you enjoy this as much…

Just For A Week..

Disclaimer: I am not Judgina, neither am I Assistant Holy Spirit. I am merely a voice crying out: It might be the right time to (re-)examine yourself. If you’re offended, the message might be just for you.. *** Just for a week.. I wasn’t sure of how much truth it held, or whether it held any…

Scattered Abroad

He wondered whether he could help. I sensed earnest desperation and smiled gratefully. We’d been over this too many times; No. How could he help me find what I was looking for? Something I wasn’t sure still existed? I’ll be OK. I said and quickly added I’ll find my way. “Not all who wander are…

Olowo Ori Mi

Touching my soul without the use of his hands; He had the ability to make me feel without putting in much effort. In his presence, my emotions were all over the place, yet centered. They were all about him. I adored his features. Completely unconscious, as though out of reflex, I stretched my arm. I…

My Number One

I was smiling, as was he, but with tears in his eyes. His smile had begun to fade.. ages ago. To be honest, I feared it, but didn’t see it coming so soon. I knew he had something to say that wouldn’t be in my favour, ours. He was right. Another one Gone. I’m tired of moving on, but…

One Day..

I knew they were blatant lies. All the things they had told me over the years; I knew they were all untrue. I knew my mother hadn’t abandonned me, but I said nothing. I knew she hadn’t left in search for greener pastures, a life far away from home. And yes, I also knew who…

Daddy’s Little Girl

We never spoke about it. Tima was a screamer and the walls here had ears. He didn’t mind though, their relationship was no secret. She was his favourite. He was not bothered about what we’d think, it was her turn.. again! And we accepted it. She screamed every night. The others heard it too. Her…

A Picture Worth Painting

I wanted to paint something meaningful, something that would shock people, make them think, meditate; perhaps even call for change. Something that- as powerful as a two-edged sword penetrating joints and marrows- would speak to their hearts. I wanted to paint a picture worth painting. Whether in colour or in lyrics; so long it was…

Being Me

The thermostat is showing +39°C but I am freezing. This chill is coming from within. Emotions drifting like tides; quickly rising, slowly abasing. I am upset. Not sure about what exactly. Many things, but nothing in particular. He needs to find a balance! I need stability, in the midst of his intensity. His need for…

Replaced

He took him away from me.. again! I knew this would eventually happen; it always did whenever I lost sight of priorities. The LORD was jealous for me. I had called him My First Love. I should have known better than to replace Him.

Feeling Good

They thought me overdressed. And as they watched me- in my little black dress, my suede blazer, and my colourful pumps- strolling through the park, I acknowledge their stares and whispers with a smile. I wasn’t on the look-out for attention and I thought I looked just right for the occasion: Celebrating me!

Pretty Wings

Like a butterfly in the sky, I watched him with pleasure; his love for freedom and variety. This suited me perfectly. I never wanted to be tied down. I’ve always wanted to fly high. And so I flapped along. Through ups and downs, laughter and frowns, we were tied to each other, An intertwining of souls….

Silent Tears

Whenever I’m emotional, I take long showers. I know they won’t make the pain go away. But they make me forget about my fears, my tears. A beautiful distraction, so long I don’t drown. Tonight, I showered five times. I miss him but I won’t say. I’ll simply shed silent tears, and wait for the pain…

In Threes and in Fours

I watched them intrigued, all those little ones; walking together, in threes and in fours. Not laughing or smiling, not arguing or fighting; but simply together, in threes and in fours. They were toiling and sweating, labouring and panting, for a life together, in threes and in fours. They relied on each other, knew they needed…

A Perfect Reflection

He couldn’t help but smile. Although he hardly ever commented on a post, he made sure to always read her blog. It made him smile, it made him glad; to see that she hadn’t changed. Sure, she’d developed, grown, had learnt a few things, seen further, acquired wisdom, but she still was the same; she…

(That (Something) Else)

One would have thought I’d jump at it; at the question, the opportunity, the asker, him. But I didn’t, I couldn’t. I was shocked, gob-smacked, dumbfounded. I really did not see it coming. I had hoped for it, yes. Had longed for it, prayed for it, desired it. But now that he asked, I didn’t…